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Word Gems
exploring self-realization, sacred personhood, and full humanity
Soulmate, Myself:
Prometheus Denied
14: The Death of the Good Girl and Boy
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K. Day Star, what was it like when the two of you went through your
time on Earth?
D. It was very hard, of course. We awakened to each other in an out-of-phase manner; as is common with Twins, circumstances did not allow
us to be together.
K. I’m sorry. I can imagine your pain.
D. It was our required path to maturity; the pain was temporary.
K. Which one of you initially became aware of the other?
D. Typically, it is the female whose eyes open first; and so it was with
us. Ancient wisdom suggests that Woman is uniquely endowed to do
this. More than her counterpart, she is in tune with the energy flows of
her own body; because of this, she is often first to realize that she and
her sleep-walking future mate share a bond. I tried to go to him, but,
before he was mature enough to receive me. It didn’t work out well. As
we were to learn, as Twins come to know, true romantic love on Earth is
usually more promise than present reality. The suffering attendant to this
emotional chaos works to bring both male and female to a heightened
awareness, albeit a most sorrowful one.
K. I want to do the will of Mother-Father God, but I wish there were another way.
B. You speak like Brother Joshua in the garden, the night before he died.
K. Yes, Elenchus and I were discussing that similarity.
B. And not by accident, I think. It seems that each soul who desires
to reach for the heights of development will need to face that terrible
“night in the garden”; a time of extreme temptation, while resisting the
small ego’s urge to protect oneself.
E. I’m learning that there’s a process of purification that every soul must
pass through.
D. And since we’ve referenced the “garden” incident, this may be an
opportune time for us to discuss a related element. I need to warn both
of you that this subject is painful to discuss.
K. Ok, but, what more could there be to hurt us? I’m already losing him
and my memories.
D. There is something more… something else happened in the garden to
our Beloved Teacher. It was the night of his betrayal.
K. What are you saying, Day Star?
D. I am saying that if you and Elenchus desire to obtain maximum
experiential benefit from your time on Earth, you will want to endure
what is likely to be the worst ordeal of your eternal existence.
E. And it has to do with betrayal?
D. [silence]
E. Are you trying to say that Kairissi and I must betray each other?
(sighing) How is that even possible?
B. You will no longer dismiss the possibility when you’ve met the evil
within. At that time, you will finally know, too well, the ego’s unbounded
self-centeredness.
E. What are you suggesting?
D. If you are willing, we will arrange for you and Kairissi to experience
betrayal – by each other.
E. I was the one who encouraged Kairissi to consider the terra-mission because it would help us to love each other more – and now we
learn that we must betray each other!
K. Big Water… why is this a good idea?
B. Let me put it this way. There is a reason why Joshua agreed to endure
this trauma. Judas was an esteemed friend, so much so that he was given
custody of the common funds. And when a trusted friend turns against
you, one has the opportunity to experience an aspect of darkness, a
depth of suffering, that is normally unavailable.
D. Betrayal, for you two, does not need to be like what happened to
Joshua. We’re not talking about delivering each other to bodily harm.
K. (deeply sighing)
D. But this doesn’t mean it will feel like a minor incident. Joshua and
Judas were merely good friends. But you two are Twin lovers. You
share the most powerful bond in the universe – the disruption of which
can cause the greatest suffering possible.
E. How might this happen?
D. We will need to work out the details, but my suggestion is that betrayal
for you two should be experienced in the form of mutual rejection – in a
manner that will seem utterly unfair and unexpected to the victim. You’ll
both have a turn at this.
K. And I suppose if I’m going to awaken to Elenchus first, then
I’ll probably be the first one to get hurt.
D. That would be a likely scenario.
K. Could you say more about why we should do this?
B. It’s about knowing yourself – about knowing the true self. The
small ego has been mentioned many times over the past weeks. You
might think that you understand; but, if I may be so bold, you do not
understand – not yet. You have not met the resident evil, up close,
studied the hideous face, and felt its seething energy. During your Earth
mission, you will suffer at the hands of many others in many ways; and
we have already spoken of how you two, in that coming blindness,
might become enemies. All this conflict might serve to open your eyes.
However… “enemies” is one thing, “betrayal” is more.
E. I can’t even imagine what the words “enemy” and “betrayal” mean in
reference to Kairissi.
D. Yes, I know.
E. Why should we do this?
D. There’s a point I want to emphasize, and will likely repeat. This is your
one chance in your eternal existence to learn a most vital lesson – you
will not be returning to the Earth as mortals; and therefore you’ll want
to make the most of this trip.
E. (sighing)
D. As we’ve discussed, every human being has been given an ego.
And every ego, in its youthful dysfunctional phase, under sufficient
provocation, if substantially threatened, is potentially capable of any evil!
K. Any evil?
D. Potentially, yes.
E. Day Star, I’m accepting what you’re saying on an intellectual basis,
but, it just seems too foreign. I know that Kairissi and I have egos like
anyone else, but we’re also Twin lovers. How can the ego become such
a malevolent force when two people love each other as Twins do?
D. When the small ego is fully engaged, you will not feel the love that
you presently know.
B. It’s the “sun hidden behind dark clouds” principle.
E. This seems so hard. Nothing could hurt me more – in any
future world or dimension – than Kairissi treating me like that!
D. Yes… and that’s the point.
B. Brother, what you cannot yet intuitively grasp is that the ego is
not interested in being in love. It would rather be “right,” fortified,
and protected. It prefers to maintain its posture of superiority than
experience the joy of oneness.
E. Nothing, in the whole universe, could seem more evil to me than being mistreated like that by Kairissi!
D. It is the depths of evil, custom-crafted – just for you; and that’s why the
educative lesson is so important and valuable.
K. If Elenchus and I need to experience the pain of betrayal, is there any
possible way we can do this by being hurt by someone else? Do we really
need to hurt each other?
D. My dear, your love for each other is a proverbial two-edged sword. No
one can show you the joy as Elenchus can…
K. I know what you’re going to say…
D. I think you do – and no one can show you the darkness as someone
so close as your Twin.
B. Each of you, as is the case with all Twins, can reach and teach each
other as no one else. This didactic aspect of your Twin love is granted
by Divine providence. It is the primary reason Mother-Father God gave
you to each other.
K. I guess I’ve always naively thought that I could grow in spirituality well enough in a peaches-and-cream, sunlight-and-roses existence, just being with the boy I love.
D. Beauty, refinement, and all things aesthetic certainly play a part in
developing one’s spiritual IQ – but this splendor must be subsumed by a
frightening journey to the center of the ego’s horrific domain.
B. Mystics call it “the long dark night of the soul.” Kairissi and Elenchus, I know all this is very hard. But it is so important for your spiritual growth to catch a glimpse of the final depths of the evil within – and no one can facilitate this “portrait of Dorian Gray” vision as might a rogue Twin.
E. A rogue Twin! What a phrase, Big Water! How utterly
anomalous that I should be required to apply this term to the girl who
has taught me the meaning of “extreme delight”!
D. Only she can help you perceive the “extreme” ends of that emotional
continuum – the good and the bad.
K. How sorrowful for Elenchus and me to know these things!
Truly, this is forbidden knowledge! The fruit of the tree of good and evil
is bitter, indeed!
B. “And their eyes were opened.”
E. I’ve heard that phrase many times but never understood it
until this moment.
K. Both of you, please, explain more about how this will help Elenchus and me.
B. Without this ultimate self-knowledge, there would ever remain
a lingering naiveté, a certain lack of compassion, an inner citadel of
intolerance. You would be tempted to silently judge those who fall into
error: “How could he or she have done such a thing! I certainly would
never have done that!” – implying an elitism, that you are above, that you
are better, that you would not have been thus tempted – as if you were
not potentially as humanly frail as any other, even the most wretched!
Anyone who speaks such is deceived, has not yet plummeted all the way
to the bottom of the darkened heart. The origin and stronghold of evil
still safely reside within, unassailed and unbowed.
D. Let us remember Brother Joshua’s parable of the proud man in the
temple who said, “I thank thee Lord that I am not like other men!”
B. Exactly so. Those who journey all the way to the center of the small
ego will never again thank God in such delusional manner.
D. Dear friends, you will go to the Earth one time as hapless mortals! This
is your one chance, one chance, in your entire eternal existence, to learn
this lesson to an utmost degree. Here in Summerland, life is so good.
No one is threatened by anything; least of all, by one’s Twin. Here, you
love each other so joyously, so naturally. But on your Earth-mission, you
will be given unparalleled opportunity to evolve, to grow in wisdom and
understanding; to teach each other about the depths of egoic darkness,
to a degree that shall never arise again. Only you – each to the other, in
such profound manner – can deliver this lesson.
K. (deeply sighing)
D. Be of good cheer, both of you! Your fortitude and determination to
serve the greater good will be rewarded a thousand-fold, and a thousand
times that! Compensation, truly, will include the enduring esteem of
innumerable others; but, concerning reward, I refer primarily not to such
externals. Virtue is its own reward and crowns itself with its own laurel
wreath – a resultant depth of wisdom and understanding that shall guide
your steps for the next million years and beyond.
B. But, for Twin lovers, the very most tantalizing benefit is yet to come –
your fully opened eyes, your enhanced sentience and consciousness will
allow you an oceanic sense of romantic intimacy of which you presently
cannot know.
K. My head is reeling! I am glad for the blessing to come, but I
had no idea that I might need to retrace some of Brother Joshua’s path.
I’m already feeling very alone and isolated!
B. As he himself experienced, we will yet find value in being led to a
place of utter despair and painful questioning: “My God, why have you
forsaken me?” That’s what you will feel in your time of betrayal. Nothing
will make sense, and in this blackest despair you will struggle even to
maintain a desire to live. There is no greater loss, no greater threat and
privation, no greater death, than betrayal by a Twin! How anomalous,
of course! Ultimate Misery at the hand of the Sacred Beloved, the one
meant to offer a sense of Ultimate Joy, Ultimate Oneness, the very
“image of God”.
D. But, I regret to add… there’s something that could make it even a
little harder.
K. Oh, no! – I can hardly bear to hear any more! – but… I must know.
D. It is my duty to inform you that you, yourself, could make it more
difficult. Mere betrayal per se is no automatic free-pass to spirituality.
This terrible experience could make you worse, could so enrage and
disorient you, that sanity itself might suffer dislocation. And this could
send you to the Dark Realms when you return to our side.
K. This is getting harder and harder… How is it supposed to work?
D. When all of the ego-supports in your life crumble to nothing; when
you want to die but cannot; when despair threatens you like a never-ending nightmare… you will have received the ultimate opportunity
to stand alone, by yourself – to stand alone and know your own inner
riches, the glorious true self, in the warming radiance of Mother-
Father God… and, if you can “stay present” to that deepest self under
conditions of such extremity, and not give in to hatred and bitterness,
you will gain an apprehension of your own soul, a sacred self-knowledge,
a most profound wisdom, that will remain with you forever. And you will
perceive, not by third-party testimony but by direct experience, that
the sun still shines no matter how dark the clouds become – and, dear
friends, it doesn’t get any darker than betrayal by a Twin.
B. And now, finally, dear Kairissi, there’s some good news.
K. I could use a good word.
B. Your deepest person will be purified by this fiery trial. And this purified
deeper self is the part of you meant to enter into union with a true mate.
The eternal bond uniting Twin Souls is not forged by the ego, the false
self, with all of its neurotic wants and needs.
K. This is what Lateece was talking about.
B. And you will be able to offer your mate that purified self, which
resultant sense of affinity will manifest as superlative romantic love –
something never seen or felt by you two before.
K. Oh, Day Star and Big Water! Part of me is feeling panicked,
trying to find a way out of this – but, I know soon you’ll be saying, it’s our
choice, and how much consciousness and wisdom do we want to have,
how much do we want to become like Mother-Father God?
E. But… is it really true? Is any person capable of any evil, if he or she is
unconsciousness enough! Could I really have such dark thoughts toward
this girl whom I love more than my own life?
B. The part of you speaking right now is not the aspect of self that might
betray her. Most people do not know themselves and what lies within. They think that evil is “out there” somewhere, and if we could just eliminate “evil,” and all the bad people, life would be good for the rest of us. It’s not that way. The truth is, we are all on the same continuum. Yes, people do bad things, and very bad things, but there is no denominated class of “evil people,” as such, but only deluded people and ego-insane people. Any person, each one of us, is subject to that “crouching leopard” if one does not remain spiritually present to the egoic forces within.
E. And since I don’t really perceive this danger within right now,
I suppose that’s the real problem here.
K. Ok, if we do this betrayal thing, can you tell me, right now,
that all the bad news is finally on the table? Or will you keep unveiling
greater and greater tragedies?
D. I want you, yourself, to answer that question. Tell me now – what
could be worse than betrayal by a Twin?
K. I see what you mean. Even losing my own life, if that were
possible, would not be worse, because, without Elenchus, I already can
feel that life would not be worth living …so, yes, a betrayal by a Twin has
to be the worst evil imaginable, and would cause the greatest suffering.
D. I believe you are correct; and, therefore, as we’ve stated, it offers the
ultimate avenue to know oneself. My dear, you are so very heavy of heart
just now. Let us break for half an hour. We have better topics to come.
(walking)
K. Well, soldier boy, we hadn’t bargained for this, had
we?
E. No...
K. I wonder what it will be like? – to raise one’s hand against a dearly
beloved? What does that mean? It’s so hard to imagine! ... I mean, what is it like to hate someone? To hurt or kill someone? I’ve never entertained such concepts!
E. I know.
K. But, I must admit, I’m starting to sense the power of what our
Guides are talking about. Here I am – humor me now – the “nicest
girl” in Summerland. What do I know about evil? I’m the quintessential
conservative “good girl,” remember?
E. There’s nothing wrong with having an excellent spirit and high ideals.
K. Thank you, Ellus, but allow me to verbalize this. Think about what
our Guides are saying. How could we ever be compassionate servants
if we, ourselves, do not understand the true nature of evil? Shall we
instruct the less-developed about “the sordid,” armed with mere
theory? Will it be an “armchair” spectator-sport for us? How could we
offer one drop of authentic kindness to those who really mess-up if we
view ourselves living on Mount Olympus, untouched by the frailties of
mortals?
E. (silence)
K. Oh, My Love, all this is so hard, but I also want for us, so much, to
become more than we presently are! I want to open my eyes! I want to
be wise! (softly weeping) I want to become a truly “good girl,” and not
just one with polished manners, a practiced smile, who silently disdains
those who are weak.
E. Krissi, I was just thinking… here we are, in our hosts’ garden, sort of like the first Twin Souls, Adam and Eve in a garden. And what you just said about opening your eyes really is like eating the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. We have to leave the garden paradise, leave Summerland, and go out into the troubled world. I believe it was meant to be that way. We have to personally experience right and wrong, to eat of the good-and-evil fruit. It’s part of growing up and gaining wisdom.
K. Ellus, I know you’re right. We spoke of the Gethsemane-garden
parallels and now this insight about Adam and Eve’s garden! It feels like
we’re being drawn into a universal matrix of common experience, all
designed to mature us.
E. It appears, Dear Love, that we’re simply the latest students about to
enter the classroom of wisdom; a bit tardy, but finally willing, at last.
K. Viewing things this way, I feel excited about entering that classroom.
What wonders we shall come to know! And I’m so excited, too, about all
that we’ll become – for the world and for each other. And yet, I am also
frightened. I don’t want to suffer, and I don’t want to lose you. If only
there were some other way.
E. Did not the Beloved Teacher also ask if there were another way?
(resuming group conversation; they apprise the Guides of their new
understanding)
D. I will tell you what’s happening with your perceptions. Big Water and
I have experienced this many times. There are those who watch over
us, on higher levels of existence, who’ve just helped you to receive some beautiful insights on the nature of life.
K. How wonderful!
B. I would like to emphasize something. There are many religious groups
on the Earth, and even some on the lower levels of Summerland, which
errantly propose that what Joshua did was unique. Granted, not many
will need to die a brutal death, but every soul who wishes to mature
must, in principle, do what the Beloved Teacher did.
E. Please say more on that.
B. Each person must search for and live “the truth,” strive against the
forces of darkness, and offer his or her life to Mother-Father God. To be
sure, especially on the Earth, this will require personal suffering, a life
consecrated to sacred principle in the face of adversity. This is what the
Great Teacher did; it is what each person who follows in his steps must
do; each in his or her own way.
K. I never really saw myself as part of the work of Joshua, but it’s starting
to be clear.
D. It is clear because, without reservation, you have now devoted
yourself to the process; before, the small ego and its narrow agenda
was clouding your vision.
K. Day Star and Big Water… I think the most unnerving aspect of
this entire conversation centers about the blindness that causes people
to secretly proclaim, “I thank thee Lord that I am not like other men!”
D., B. (silence)
E. I also find that very troubling. Part of me wants to believe that
becoming a “great spiritual person” has to do with performing notable
charitable work, heroic altruism. This notion appeals to success-oriented
people. We want to “put it on a schedule,” get it done, and earn our
merit-badges. But… I now see that there’s more involved here than good
work ethic.
K. And I suppose that’s why so many people consider Brother Joshua to
be such an icon, as he endured something very difficult – that “heroic
altruism.”
B. Truly, your eyes are opening… you’ve hardly started on your path of
development but already I find wisdom in your words… and one day you
will achieve great things and have much to offer.
K., E. (silence)
B. However, people of ability can easily fall into the delusional and
poisonous elitism – “I thank thee Lord that I am not like other men.”
K., E. (silence)
B. Day Star, My Love, is this a good time for us to explain something of
how we came to be their advisors?
D. (softly) I think it would be, Dear.
B. A long time ago, when you both were just “baby sparks” in “God’s
house,” one of the Ancient Watchers suggested that we might become
your teachers. Spirit Guides are assigned to their charges as per the
principle, “like unto like.”
D. Big Water and I share your most salient psychological and intellectual
features; and therefore, in this similarity, The Watchers determined that
we would understand what is best for you.
B. I was the one who decided upon your name, Elenchus. We could
perceive your latent penchant for enquiry into purpose and meaning.
I am like that, too.
D. And I am like you, Kairissi. You and I naturally gravitate toward all
things aesthetic and graceful. We are like the girl in the song of whom it
is said, she loves “her flowers and her birds.”
B. But gifted and virtuous people might also be the first to presume,
“I thank thee Lord that I am not like other men!” In this ego-insanity,
talented people on the Earth oppress the less-developed and justify their
totalitarian ways by imagining themselves better and deserving to rule
over others. This is the origin of much evil.
K., E. (silence)
D. It is the “vice of the virtuous.” Big Water and I hope to craft a lesson
plan for you such that your fine abilities will not become detrimental
and self-defeating. If the small ego runs one’s life, even good attributes
can lead to pathology.
K. It’s the death of the “good boy and good girl”.
B. And this is why Day Star and I have encouraged you to accept the
“betrayal incident” as part of your education. We want you both to
descend all the way to the bottom of the small ego’s domain; to viscerally
know, despite talents and abilities, that you share a common humanity
with even the most disadvantaged.
E. (sighing)
B. But let me commend both of you – not everyone who learns of the
dangers of the Earth-trip decides to go through with it. Great courage is
required to embark upon your mission; and, I just want you to know that
Mother-Father God are very proud of you.
K. Thank you… I believe in my deepest heart that all will work
for the best.
D. Your sense of peace issues from your own soul and is one more
confirmation that you have chosen well. Now then, as you demanded,
all the bad news is on the table – and it’s time for some good news.
E. I could stand some.
D. That’s good, because there’s plenty to come.
K. Could you give me a hint?
D. Lateece wanted you to become aware of two realities. We’ve covered
the first. But the second one is where the fun starts.
K. (very softly laughing) Why didn’t I go to the Earth sooner?
D. (smiling) My dear, you will actually say that someday. And here’s
why: There are many reasons why Mother-Father God created us, but
the most elemental purpose of life is simply that of enjoying one’s own
existence. Your trip to the Earth will increase your capacity for happiness
by several magnitudes of ten.
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